Written : June 12th , 2010 Intended Delivery : October 12th, 2010. - im kind of lost. i dont know who i am or who i want to be or what i want period. i dont Love myself, so im begining to doubt my feelings for you. What if this isnt love, what if none of this is real, what if its not that ' forever ' type of thing..i wanted it to be..i thought it was.. but im not so sure anymore. Sometimes i feel like i dont deserve you. like im not good enough, or strong enough , or smart enough , or independent enough , or attractive enough.And vise versa sometimes i think you dont deserve Me. Sometimes i think i dont love you enough , because i dont know how to. i dont know anything. im not the person either of us wants or needs me to be. . . i havnt grown into her yet. You left me for 4 months, & found yur way back to me. Now its my turn. So im taking the next 4 months to focus on ME, find who i am and who i want to be, to grow into that female . If youre reading this it means i did it. If youre reading this i guess that means this is real, i really do love you, and i have found my way back to you...hope i didnt write this for nothing =/
